The day I found the lump in my breast

I found the lump. I was not looking for it but I knew something was wrong with my breast. Over a period of several months, I noticed subtle changes in the shape of my breast. At times it felt heavy and ached. Then an obvious lump appeared. I ignored it at first, convinced it was a cyst and would go away. It didn’t go away. I had never had a mammogram, which may seem remiss for an obstetrician gynecologist (I’ll save that discussion for another time.) Even with what turned out to be a 4.7 cm tumor, my mammogram was read as essentially normal, just dense breasts. The biopsy, done several days later, was not normal. It was cancer.

Kate Killoran

Kate Killoran

I thought I was healthy. I was 44 years old. I actually enjoy exercise. I swim, bike and run. I ski both downhill and cross country. I do pilates and yoga. I am not overweight, do not smoke, and eat a reasonably healthy diet. And yet, despite all that, in February of 2013, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

How could this happen? I certainly never expected it would happen to me. But it did. While I will always wish that this had never happened, my diagnosis has given me a new perspective. I have been able to look at my lifestyle, make some necessary changes, and reexamine my role as a physician.

Since my diagnosis I have carefully considered my lifestyle and although it was mostly healthy, there were and still are things that I can do better. For instance, I feel lucky because I like to exercise and I like to cook. A nutritious diet and regular exercise are both big contributors to a healthy lifestyle. I thought my diet was healthy (with an occasional indulgence) but when I really looked at it, I realized I did not eat enough fruits and vegetables. I have since reduced the amount of meat I eat. I am not a vegetarian, but I have tried to make fruits and vegetables the focus of my diet with lean meat or fish as a complement to the vegetables.

For me, changing my diet was a relatively minor lifestyle change. The biggest change I had to make was reducing stress and anxiety. Being an OB/GYN is as challenging as it is rewarding — and it is also very stressful. I worked hard to become a doctor and then an OB/GYN, but I knew that I could not go back to the job I had before I was diagnosed. Making a real change meant walking away from years of school and training, not to mention a lucrative salary. But I needed to do it for my own health. And so I quit my job.

Today I am healthier and happier than I have been in several years. I remain passionate about women’s health and healthcare. Nothing has educated me more than my own health crisis. My experience as a patient is now an integral part of my role as a physician. I hope to share my experience with others. I hope that sharing what I have learned will be helpful to other cancer patients and survivors, but also with anyone who wants to take an active role in their own health and healthcare.

Kate Killoran

About Kate Killoran

I grew up in Rockport. Moved back after my OB/GYN residency. I worked at PenBay Medical Center for 10 years and then was diagnosed with breast cancer. As I said above, my cancer diagnosis has been the catalyst for my own health and wellness. I am now practicing outpatient gynecology with a focus on integrative and lifestyle medicine at a small, independent, multi-specialty group.